NORMAL’s mission is to give everyone the information, confidence & tools for a lifetime of fulfilling sex. From making the sex-ed you missed in school, to making beautiful modern toys you won’t want to hide – they’re here to help. Part of this mission is to help improve your confidence and love for yourself! We love it!

Here are two self-reflection exercises to change the way you think about your body.

Exercise 1: Reflective Questioning

In this activity we’re going to write down some reflective questions that might be impacting our core beliefs about our body and appearance and reinforcing negative thought patterns. We’ll then spend some time re-framing and challenging them.

Here are some questions to start with…

• What’s an assumption that I have about my body that I would like to adjust?
• Where might this assumption have come from? Why may it still be here?
• What impact does this assumption have on my life?
• What impact does this assumption have on my relationship with my body?
• In what ways is this assumption unreasonable, unrealistic, or unhelpful?
• What is an alternative assumption that is more balanced and flexible?
• What can I do to put this assumption into practice on a daily basis?

Exercise 2: getting hooked

We talk colloquially of being ‘hooked by our mind’ or ‘hooked by thoughts’, by which we mean we can get all caught up in our thoughts and they can exert a strong influence over our actions. By challenging these thoughts, we can ‘unhook’ ourselves and feel more grounded in the present and less tied to our thoughts.

Ask yourself…

• In what situations does your mind manage to hook you?
• What sort of things does it say in order to hook you?
• How do you manage to unhook yourself?

You could try creating a mind diary based on this template:

Date/time:

Triggering events or situation:
What did your mind say or do to hook you?
How did your behaviour change when you got hooked?
What did those actions cost you?
Did you manage to unhook yourself? If so, how?

There are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions, but we encourage you to think them through in your own time in a way that makes sense to you. You could write them out in a journal, speak them aloud, or even create a collage or mind map based on them. We suggest revisiting them over time to see how your answers change, and how your thoughts evolve.

This guide is part of the NORMAL Body Confidence Course, a free video series where acclaimed sex coach Georgia Grace and psychologist Rashida Dungarwalla share the insights and exercises they use to help their clients build more body confidence every day.