Here’s what the Consent Labs team had to share…

In a world where conversations around sexuality and relationships are evolving, one thing remains clear: consent is not just a necessity—it’s becoming downright sexy. Consent to sex is where two individuals agree freely and voluntarily. It’s an enthusiastic yes that sets the tone for intimacy, connection, and exploration.

Get Ready to Flirt…

Consent doesn’t have to be a stiff, awkward conversation. In fact, it can be incredibly flirty! Think about how sexy it is to express desires in a playful manner. Here are some examples of how consent can be woven in:

• “I was thinking about… and I think it would be hot, what do you think?”

This approach opens the door for discussion while inviting your partner into your desires..

• “I love it when you…”

Sharing what you enjoy not only confirms consent but also encourages your partner to reciprocate.

• “I really want to try this…”

Being direct about desires can ignite excitement and passion.

• “Let’s do that again now.”

Suggesting repetition of enjoyable activities highlights mutual enthusiasm.

• “I’m not sure I’m into that, but I loved when we … the other day.”

Expressing uncertainty about one act while reminiscing about another fosters a safe space for open communication.

Ask these Playful Questions…

Consent can also be communicated through playful questions and affirmations that keep the energy alive:

• “Could I? Is this good? How does that feel?”

Checking in with your partner not only confirms consent but also shows that you respect their boundaries.

• “Can we go back to what we were doing before?”

This allows for a playful exploration of desires while emphasising your boundaries.

• “Have you ever tried…?”

Inviting your partner to share their experiences creates intimacy and collaboration.

Can you gain consent from body language alone?

Body language can be a powerful tool in the dance of consent. While it can help confirm that someone is still into it or signal interest during the flirting stage—think lip biting or winking—it’s crucial to remember that you cannot get consent from body language alone. Consent should always be verbal to ensure clarity and mutual understanding.

In intimate settings, body language can enhance the experience, but it should be used to check in on your partner’s feelings rather than as a standalone indicator. Always pair nonverbal cues with verbal consent to maintain an open and respectful dialogue.

The Bigger Picture: Consent and Gender Equality

Prioritising consent is vital not only for personal relationships but also for addressing the larger issue of gender-based violence. The prevalence of sexual violence in Australia remains alarmingly high, with statistics revealing that 1 in 5 women and 1 in 20 men over the age of 15 have been subjected to sexual violence (ABS, 2017).

By normalising consent and respectful relationships, we challenge the societal norms that have historically silenced voices and dismissed boundaries. Education about consent is known to reduce negative sexual experiences and sexualised violence (Marson, 2018). When individuals actively seek and give consent, they contribute to a culture that values respect, autonomy, and equality.

As we continue to redefine what consent means in the realm of intimacy, it’s clear that the conversation is evolving. Consent is sexy because it empowers individuals to express their desires openly and playfully, transforming what once might have felt awkward into an exhilarating aspect of connection.

To foster a culture that values consent and reduces sexual violence, everyone can contribute in meaningful ways. Start by deepening your understanding of consent and respectful relationships, sharing your knowledge with friends and family to create an informed community. Engaging in open conversations about consent helps normalise these discussions, allowing everyone to feel more comfortable expressing their boundaries and desires.

Let’s keep the dialogue alive, make it fun, and remember: a passionate encounter starts with an enthusiastic, flirtatious, and playful yes!

Co-written by Angelique Wan, Co-founder and CEO, and Chantel Meehan, Partnerships Manager, at Consent Labs. Consent Labs is a not-for-profit organisation dedicated to ending sexual violence in Australia through comprehensive consent and respectful relationships education. To date, Consent Labs has empowered over 95,000 young people, parents, carers, and educators, to actively change the culture surrounding consent and sexual violence.