Focus on your healing

After childbirth, the primary goal is healing, not indulging in intimacy. Engaging in penetrative sex too soon can be risky, increasing the chances of postpartum complications like haemorrhaging or uterine infection. Typically, medical experts advise avoiding penetrative sex for four to six weeks after a caesarean or vaginal delivery. This includes both vaginal and anal sex, which could disrupt stitches, introduce infection, and hinder healing. Before resuming any sort of sex, it’s advised to wait until you’re no longer experiencing bleeding or discharge – a good indication that your uterus and uterine lining have healed. That being said, always consult your doctor before moving forward – you don’t want to undo any progress you’ve made towards healing, let alone create any more damage to your body.

Check in with yourself

Categorically, the number one person to consider when assessing what you’re ready for and when that is, is you. While your doctor, physically, can determine if your body is ready to have sex safely, your emotional wellbeing is just as important. The arrival of a baby can significantly affect your sex life – just consider all of the hormonal changes, fatigue, emotional stressors and body image perceptions that come along with it. It’s ok to feel impacted by all of the above – let yourself heal first, the sex will come.

Open up emotionally

In news that may surprise nobody, partners’ sex drives don’t always sync up perfectly – even when pregnancy and/or birth isn’t a factor. The important thing is creating and maintaining a direct and honest line of communication. This may require regular check-ins with your partner, talking openly about your physical and emotional wellbeing, as well as communicating how you’re feeling about intimacy in the moment. If penetrative sex is off the table for a while after childbirth, remember that there are other (almost infinite) ways to be intimate with your partner.

Embrace outercourse

If and when you feel ready, non-penetrative sex, also known as ‘outercourse’, can be a safe option much sooner than penetrative intercourse after giving birth. Take it slow – exploring alternatives like oral sex or mutual masturbation, avoiding the deeper vaginal area and perineum. Focus instead on other erogenous zones, or consider incorporating vibrator play- such as the LBDO Essensual Vibe – on the clitoris.

Go slow

Feeling ready to try penetration again? Great – but don’t get too excited and rush into it. Start slow and really indulge in sensual foreplay to set the mood. There’s no rush to return to your pre-childbirth sex life immediately. Gradually increase the depth and speed of penetration, paying attention to what feels comfortable and enjoyable for you. And don’t be afraid to use lube.

Lubricate

We said it once and we’ll say it again – don’t be afraid to use lube. Postpartum hormonal changes often lead to vaginal dryness, making lubrication crucial for a pleasurable experience. Dryness and friction during intercourse can cause discomfort, micro-tearing, and an increased risk of infection. We recommend a natural water-based lube, such as the LBDO Essensual Lube, to ensure gentle care for your skin.

Consider contraception

Don’t freak out, but technically you can become pregnant as soon as three weeks after childbirth – so do consider contraception if that idea doesn’t spark joy. There’s a lot to consider when it comes to birth control, so it’s best to discuss options with your doctor before or shortly after delivery. IUDs, implants, diaphragms, and contraceptive pills will likely be available options shortly after childbirth – or for immediate contraception, condoms remain a consistently effective choice.

As you navigate the beautiful (and yes, overwhelming and challenging) postpartum phase, remember that no two journeys are alike. Give yourself all the time you need to ease back into intimacy at your own pace, and make communication and emotional wellbeing a real priority. There’s certainly more to sexuality and sensuality than strictly baby-making activities. Experiment a bit – you might even learn a new thing or two.

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